We are in hell...but at least there are flowers

I scrolled through my Facebook feed this morning.  The simmering anger that is constantly right below the surface, because our world is going to hell (if there is such a place...I mean, maybe this is hell) in a hand basket, boiled over.

Two mass shootings in a 24 hour period. Two MORE mass shootings.

I am angry. And I am tired.

I am tired of the 'trending now' list's and "head lines" carousel's being full of people hurting each other, hurting themselves, being greedy and insensitive and self-absorbed.

I am tired of the fake and useless thoughts and prayers from our elected officials who have the power and privilege to make a difference in this world. I am angry because I am certain in the knowledge that none of them will do anything about any of it because our system is broken and corrupt. I know this. Everyone knows this.  And none of us have any real power to do anything about it. So, please do not tell me to vote. I am tired of that too.

I am angry because I have zero power to fix this problem, this sickness. I can't force our elected officials to take direct and drastic action. Do NOT tell me to vote or call or write letters. Broken and corrupt, remember. They do.not.care.about.us.

I am angry because I feel the kernel of a revolution growing in my soul, but I have no real place to stoke that fire. The people in this country don't have the attention span for a real revolution. And honestly, the people in this country...as a whole...do.not.care.about.us.

So.....what can I do?

Well, I raise money for random things.  I've raised money for animal rescue multiple times, usually for animal rescues that are different states and that I've never directly worked with. But animal rescues are doing the hard work to help the most vulnerable of us. I've raised money for our local black box theatre. A place that is filled with love and laughter and creation. It's a bright star for me in this terribly dark world.  My fundraisers aren't really that big of a deal. To me it's a small thing to do, but it is SOMETHING to do. Something good and pure and minimally helpful.

I take pictures of flowers. This really doesn't help anyone but myself. I spend time outside in nature. The never ending birth and death cycle of plants helps me keep things in perspective. Humans are doing awful things in the world, but nature continuous on and will probably continue on long after we have totally destroyed ourselves.

Sometimes I bake stuff. Kneading the crap out of some bread dough can help with the anger. Sharing my baked goods with others, providing a pleasant surprise and tasty treat, helps to momentarily alleviate the tiredness.

I hold doors open for people. I pick up things that strangers have dropped to give back to them. I smile and wave at babies.

I stare at the moon. I feed the hummingbirds. I bring home heart shaped rocks. I cuss....a lot. And I laugh too loud.

None of these things are changing the world.....

But I have to do something.