Lean into Love

Yesterday, my best friend and I were chatting back and forth on the Marco Polo app. Somehow our conversation took a turn into the muck that is current life in the United States. Both of us expressed feeling helpless during these tumultuous times. I told her that I felt like we were living in a pressure cooker, everything coming up to a violent boil with the very dangerous potential of exploding. Between the current political climate and good ol' social media, people are finding something to be outraged about, something to be afraid of or insulted by, every minute of every day. Or, at least, that's how it seems. And it can be very overwhelming and disheartening.

I don't know about anyone else, but I'm tired of seeing people burning products or boycotting businesses or sharing another ugly meme. I'm tired of people's "burn them at the stake" attitudes. When people don't agree with something, why does our first reaction seem to be towards hate and destruction, war and killing, violence and insults? Is that really what this country is about?

That isn't what I'm about. I would rather turn away from anger and hate and lean into love and kindness.

So instead of going at an issue in anger, thinking how I can "bring them down" or "bankrupt that company" or whatever...I want to ask myself 'how can I help?' or 'who can I support instead?' Let's use the Colin Kaepernick and Nike situation as an example. People are upset because they feel like Nike and Colin Kaepernick are being disrespectful to the flag and to our military/veterans. Instead of boycotting the NFL or burning all their Nike gear, why not donate to a organization that helps our military or volunteer at a local VA office or clinic?

Personally, I get really upset when I see animals that have been abused, neglected, or abandoned. I have very strong opinions on breeding dogs. But you won't find me ranting or arguing with anyone on social media.  Instead I think about how I can positively support that ideas I do believe in. I raise money for animal rescue, I share when our local shelter or rescues are having low cost clinics, I promote the adoption of shelter/rescue animals, I sponsor adoption fees.

At the end of the day, I don't want people to know what I'm against. I want people to know what I am passionate about, what I support, what I love, where my heart is. And I encourage you to do the same. Let's all consider how to invest in the issues and causes that matter to us in positive and uplifting ways. Let's all look at ways we can help and support, instead of destroy and tear down.

 Let's lean into kindness. Let's lean into love.

June 1st, 2018

Hi.

It's been over a year since I've been to this space. *sigh* I've always felt a little silly blogging. Even though I've been doing it (on and off) for years.  Like many other things I do to try and "put myself out there", it tends to feed into my ever present feelings of being inadequate. It's something I've struggled with as an adult. It's something I'm working on all of the time.

And even though that voice is always in my mind telling me...I am not good enough, that no one really cares, that I am being dumb...my heart will not let me stop. And even though I haven't really thought much about this blog in a very long time....all of the sudden, it's in my heart to try and do this thing again.

Who am I to deny my heart?

I'm not sure I CAN deny my heart. It's fairly persistent. Just slightly more persistent than the voice in my head.

Here's to trying again (and again and again) and listening to your heart.

17 for 2017

I'm not real big on resolutions. I feel like making resolutions can put a lot of pressure on people or set unrealistic expectations. AND let's not get into the fact that most of the time New Year resolutions revolve around losing weight. I hate it. I really kind of hate it. lol. I just think it's dumb that we are made to feel that we have to start the year off with being miserable or unhappy...thus needing the resolution (you know, so we can all be thin and happy...because that's the way life works...<insert eyeroll>)

As much as I dislike resolutions, I do think it's a good idea to reflect on the coming year and what you want to try and accomplish in that year. How do you want your year to go? What do you hope to do more of this year? Less of? All I know is when I ask myself these questions I'm not thinking 'You know, I really hope this year I eat more salad' or 'This is the year I will lose those 10 lbs....again' OR 'I am going to work out every single day and restrict my diet until I can fit into size XX'. No...just no.

So, here are my goals (resolutions..whatEV) for 2017:

1. Be authentic. I'm always striving to get closer to my most authentic self. I want to laugh more (and louder..who cares who hears), I want to sass more (these usually means just letting go of my filter, people are surprised when I let the chain off the gate from my brain to my mouth), I want to set boundaries if I need to..and have people respect those boundaries. It's an always evolving process.

2.  Go on more dates. An instragram friend recently posted something about a good marriage being something you make...and keep making. I couldn't agree more. There is a lot to be said about staying in, especially for us (shout out, introverts). But, I think it's important to make the effort to get out of the house and away from chores and the pets (or kids, in other people's case), away from the pile of bills and the computers, TV's, and gaming consoles.

3. Support local/small business. In our little west Texas town, we have a thriving community of small local business's. I want to make a more pointed effort in supporting our local business.

4. Read. I use to be an avid reader, but it's been a long time since I've sat down and read a book. Which is sad. I think this year I want to try and branch out and read something other than romance. The thing is, I need a happy ending (which is one reason why I have leaned so heavily on the romance genre), so it's hard to branch out. I don't like reading sad shit, especially if it ends sad.

5. Go outside. I don't care if it's a park or just the back patio. If the weather permits, I want to try and be out in it.

6. Simplify. Life gets stressful when you let a lot of noise come into play. I don't want to get distracted by things that are not important. I don't want to weigh myself down worrying about things that are not important. I want to let go of things that no longer serve a purpose in my life. I want to let go of relationships that do not help me be my most authentic self.

7. Invest. I want to invest in things and people that will help me grow my happiness, security, and health. This means investing time in myself, in the relationships that I want to strengthen, in my hobbies. It means investing money into our love cottage and in our future.

8. Save. I put this down, but I'm still thinking about what it means exactly. Money is the first thing that comes to mind, and although that is part of it, I want it to be about more than money.

9. Donate. I want to help my community and the causes that are close to my heart. So, I want to donate time where I can, or money when I can, or stuff (see #6).

10. Meditate. This sounds real "woo-woo", but I don't really plan to start any serious meditation practice. For me, this is more about getting still, getting quiet, slowing down and just breathing. I might try to incorporate "internet free" days into my week.

11. Host. We have set up our back patio to be a great place to host people, but we rarely have guests over (introverts...remember). I want to try and change that this year. I want to step out of the comfort zone and have people over to enjoy our love cottage.

12. Invite. I want to make more effort inviting people out. To lunch. To dinner. To happy hour. For a movie.

13. Get some culture. I want to see more plays, see more art, hear more live music. Maybe #12 and #13 can work together here.

14. Create. I want to create just for the joy of creating. As much as I enjoy sewing and cross stitch, and even writing, my heart is really with photography. My camera has been neglected. And recently I took it out for some test shots and it's not acting right (it's several years old now). So, it might be time to invest (see #7) in a new camera.

15. Explore. I want to learn. If I'm drawn to something, I want to dive into it and learn what I can. I want to go to new places. I want to meet new people. I want to say 'yeah, let's do that'.

16. Listen to more music. I don't listen to the radio much, but I recently downloaded the Spotify app and I have the I Heart Radio app. I want to listen to more music, while I'm cooking or cleaning or working or whatever. I sent out a SOS on my Facebook page, asking for music recommendations and boy did my friends deliver! I have a ton of artists to check out now (while I've been writing this post, I've been listening to Lady Gaga and Logic).

17. Ask for help. Just like #16, I asked for help and I got it! I want to be brave enough to ask for help (even if it's music recommendations) from my family, friends, and peers. So, if you are reading this list...and you think you could help...I WANT your help. Help me get closer and closer to being my most happy and authentic self. And maybe I can help you too.

Let's Get Real

Hi, everyone! We are headed for the end of the year like a fright train. No matter the ups or the downs, life just keeps chugging along.

Before I go any further, I had someone ask about my new boots. They are the Smarty Riding Boot at Payless. These boots come with the option for an extended calf. I usually wear a 6.5 and I ordered the same size but with the extended calf. They are still on sale...so go and get yourself a pair right now!

I posted this on my Instagram (@justjinny - come find me) last night. It seemed to resonate with a lot of people. In this age of social media, it is really easy to walk around thinking everyone else has their shit together. How do people seem to always keep their house so perfectly tidy and decorated? How is it those kids always have on coordinating outfits and perfect hair-dos? Why does so-and-so always seem to be on vacation? It's like they all know the secret to life, but some how you missed the memo.

But there is no how-to manual for life. That photo of the perfectly set table is taken in front of the sink full of dirty dishes. And the photos of the kids was taken a split second before the baby threw up on her brother.  And so-and-so might be a jet-setter but their marriage is falling apart and they are swimming in debt.

It's all about perspective. And life is much too organic to be anything as mundane as cookie cutter.

All you really can do is try to live life as close to your authentic self as possible.  I follow a lady on Instagram that posted just today about how other people only share their highlight reel, and not their authentic "down and dirty" life. So she shared a photo of her inflamed stye in her eye. It ain't pretty, people. But that is her reality. It's so real, and I love that.

I just feel that if people weren't so afraid to share the shit parts of their life, we all might have less anxiety about how we are doing life. Instead of scrolling through social media comparing ourselves to everyone else, maybe we could actually make a true connection. If we were more willing to share our flaws, we would be able to better relate to other people's realness. We would be able to sigh with relief and say 'Oh, you too? I thought I was the only one!'

Because we are never the only ones!  We are all part of that club, the 'I have no clue what I'm doing' club. So, let's be authentic and real, let's admire those that seem to have it a little more together and encourage those that are trying to find their feet. Let's be honest and ask for advice, let's share all the tricks and tips.  Let's share the ugly and the pretty, the good and the bad. And let's support each other. We are all just clinging to this huge rock, hurtling through time and space, trying our damnedest to figure it all out.